At the beginning of last week I started hearing rumors that there was going to be a major round of lay offs in the corporate office of my company on Friday, 12/7. You could feel and hear the tension all throughout the whole building...EVERYONE was nervous.
A few co-workers that I am close to got word that they were on "the list" so as Friday got closer they started packing up their desks and the tears started coming. I was 100% convinced that I was not on the list. I have always thought that there is no way they would be able to let me go because I am the only person in my whole company who does what I do and it HAS to be done. The things I do day to day at my company can not just go away...whether I am here or not...it HAS to be done. So, I pretty much thought I was safe and thought my whole department was safe.
Friday morning came around and I started my hour drive to work...excited that it was Friday but sad because I knew I would have to say bye to a lot of good friends and co-workers. It NEVER once crossed my mind that I was on the list...seriously, not even once.
Within the first 30 minutes of being in the office, everything changed.....
My boss works from home about 2 hours away from my office. So, I always know way in advance if she is going to come in to see me. I called her about 7:30 Friday morning and could immediately tell she was driving so in the back of my head I just had a feeling she was coming in to the office. And sure enough, she was. She told me she was coming in and she would talk to me about everything she had found out the night before, once she got in. I could tell by the sound of her voice that something was very wrong and when she said she had not slept at all the night before, I just knew it. I got off the phone with her and the tears came. I knew that within 2 hours I was going to hear the words " You are being let go."
The time between when I got off the phone with her and when she showed up, I spent sick to my stomach and trying to force myself to start taking down pictures and personal items. I was sick to my stomach and trying to hold back the flood gates. It was pretty much one of the worst hours of my life.
My boss got here around 9, came to my desk and told me to come see her in this empty office down the hall. I asked if I should bring tissues and she just gave me a look. I go in the office, shut the door, sit down and say "well I know you didn't just drive 2 hours to give me another promotion??" ( I was trying to lighten the mood...it did not work). I looked at her and she just started crying. Which led me to start crying.
She explained that our WHOLE department was being dissolved (aka- going away) and they were only keeping her and one other lady who works on the west coast. Everyone else ( literally, EVERY ONE ELSE) was being let go. She said she tried fighting for me and even tried to find me something else in another department that was safe, but nothing worked out. She felt terrible because I am having a baby and it was right before the holidays. So, we talked and talked and cried and cried.
Turns out that over 30% of our corporate office (only 180 employees) were cut on Friday. That is over 50 people in one day. 4 whole departments were completely dissolved. Our company has been struggling the past year or so and things have just gotten worse recently so in order for the company to survive they had to make some massive changes.
So, on top of my shock and sadness of losing my job, I had to spend all day watching friends and people I have worked with for 4 1/2 years pack their desks. Some were escorted out with boxes of their personal items in hand (seeing that was AWFUL) and some were allowed to stay for a few hours to say their good byes and tie up loose ends on projects. It was one heck of an emotional draining day. I kept thinking to myself, "this is so not how I imagined this day going." And kept thinking about my drive in to the office that morning...I was so clueless about what was about to happen to my whole company.
My boss managed to fight for me to stay a few extra days so that I could transition all of my duties to her and a couple other people. Like I said...just because I am going to be gone, my job still has to be done. So, either Wednesday or Thursday of this week will be my last day. I am spending every second (except the time it is taking to type out this loooooong post) I can to tie up projects and get things ready to hand over to someone else.
I know I am going to be ok... my husband and I are very fortunate so I know financially we will be fine. Plus my company gave me a pretty awesome severance package so I will basically be getting paid to stay at home for the next few months. Other people did not get so lucky... some that got let go are single and this was their only source of income. Some are much older and single and worry that no where will hire them because of their age. Others have been here for 20+ years and feel completely lost now and don't even know what to do next. I am sad for myself in some ways, but more than anything, my heart hurts for my co-workers that are in these other positions...ESPECIALLY right before the holidays :(
Now that I have had a few days to come to terms with this new situation I am in, I am still full of mixed emotions....one minute I am so excited because I will get to do what I have always wanted- be a stay at home wife (and eventually, mom) and the next minute I am sad to leave the corporate world. I love the routine I have gotten into and love having something that is mine and that I have been successful at. My heart beaks for the people who are sitting at home jobless now, and I am reminded how blessed I am and lucky to be in the situation I am in. I will miss silly little things like the view of the skyline as I am getting close to downtown at 6:30 AM (we have a pretty awesome skyline in Houston), the convenience of working close to the Galleria and all the awesome restaurants, my routine of walking to Randall's every Monday morning to get my fruit and breakfast for the week, my weekly emails with co-workers who have turned into close friends and so many other little things. I will not miss the hour drive into work every morning, waking up at 4:40, and conference calls ;)
If you want to read someone else's take on this terrible day, head over to one of my favorite bloggers and co-workers blog and you can read all about it there too!
Remember to pray for those that are unemployeed and stuggling, especially during the holiday season!
And if you are still reading, thank you for sticking around for the longest rant ever. :)
I had full intentions of posting this yesterday but thanks to a MAJOR catastrophe in my corporate world career, it did not happen. A huge part of my job is to maintain this massive spreadsheet for my entire company that tracks certain information and is used by many, MANY departments and the "big dogs" of my company. I have been working on this spreadsheet and maintaining it since my first day here, October 6, 2008. Well, I came in to work yesterday and it was gone. Like, completely vanished from my computer. I spent 99.9% of the day on the phone with our IT dept. and other people who are guru's when it comes to this type of problem and they could not seem to find it either. Long, long terrible story short... another company is going to have to pull our backed up files from each night at midnight to see if they can find that last version of this spreadsheet. Ughhh. And, let's all hope and pray that they find it. This is 4 years and 2 months worth of work that will be lost if they can not find this spreadsheet. I was sick to my stomach over it all day yesterday and again today. This spreadsheet is like my baby and if it is gone.... life as I know it (in my job) is over (at least in my head it will be). I will definitely shed some A LOT of tears....
SO...moving on to happier thoughts... here are a few things that are making me happy and that I am loving this week!
1. I am SO excited about Kate & William having a baby!! I have always had a slight obsession with her and she got married 7 days before me and now she is pregnant at the same time as me. Exciting!
2. We finally got our Christmas lights up on the house! Now if I could just finish decorating the inside...
3. I am loving the newest trilogy I am reading....The Boonsboro Inn trilogy by Nora Roberts. Her books never disappoint when I want a quick, easy, romance to read. These 3 remind me a lot of her Bridal Quartet, so if you liked those, you will love these!
4. I had my first pre-natal massage yesterday and it was amazing. It was not relaxing at all but I was not there to relax...I needed some pain relief! My back feels a little better and I am walking normal again. I do plan on going regularly to keep things in check!
5. A week from today we are heading to Savannah for a long weekend trip with my dad, step mom and sisters. I have not been to Savannah since I was little and my husband has never been so we are really excited. We are going for my sister's college graduation and to celebrate Christmas with that side of my family. First stop- Paula Deen's restaurant =)
How big is baby? About the size of a turnip....half a foot long!
Total weight gain/loss: Not really sure... but if I had to guess, I would say 3-5 lbs. I will find out in a little less than 2 weeks at my next appt.
Maternity clothes? Mostly maternity these days and I have to say I love it....everything is so comfortable.
Stretch marks? I officially have a few stretch marks on each of my sides. Boo. I slather on Palmer's 2-3 times a day but I guess that is not helping too much. My Mom said she got a ton of stretch marks with me.
Sleep: I try to get 8-10 hours of sleep (or at least bed rest) every night but I still toss and turn a lot and have to get up 2-3 times to use the restroom. Getting in and out of bed is hard lately because I am having such bad tailbone/lower back pain.
Miss Anything? Nope!
Movement: Not yet but hopefully any day now!
Food cravings: Nothing really...everything sounds good these days except for meat.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Red meat (mainly steak).
Have you started to show yet: Oh yes, definitely have a bump now, and I love it :)
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!
Symptoms: Holy back/tailbone pain!! It started a little over a week ago and had just gotten worse. It is the worst at the end of the day but at the moment it is pretty bad. It hurts to put a lot of pressure on my right leg when walking and it KILLS me to lay on my back. Once on Friday night and once last night I was just laying on my back, propped up on pillows watching TV and when I tried to move the pain literally took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. I was pretty much stuck in the position I was in. My doctor said the baby is probably just sitting low and putting pressure on my tailbone so it is nothing to be concerned about. But she said to give pre-natal massages a try and if that doesn't help, then she has a chiropractor for me to try.
Any others ever have this type of pain?
Looking forward to: Buying baby's furniture this weekend and finishing Christmas shopping!
And now for a weekend recap......
We had our first Christmas party of the season! After work we headed to a hotel near where the party was going to be and got all dressed up. The party was for my husband's new company and it started at the owner's gigantic mansion then ended at Sullivan's Steakhouse. I managed to make it to 10 PM and finally had to tell my husband that my back hurt so bad I could not stay another minute. I am terrible and did not take one picture though! We stayed in Houston that night so we did not have to drive an hour home and we wanted to do a few things Saturday morning.
We slept in then went to our favorite brunch restaurant in Houston, Babe Yega. Yumm! We got to sit on the patio next to their talking parrots since it was 80 degrees outside :) After brucn we went to hubby's new office so I could help him get organized and decorate his bookshelves and walls.
Saturday afternoon I went on a shopping trip to Hobby Lobby then home to start decorating for Christmas. We had plans of going out to dinner then to see Breaking Dawn but ended up sitting on the couch eating peanut butter and jelly & turkey and cheese sandwiches. HAHA!
We were supposed to have lunch with hubby's Mom and brother then we were going to buy our nursery furniture but those plans fell thru so we just hung around the house and caught up on things we had been putting off. I was supposed to have my first pre-natal massage at 4 but when I showed up they told me I was not on their list of appointments. They said when I called to confirm my appt. the day before, that the girl I spoke with must have accidentally hit "cancel" instead of "confirm." I was SO disappointed and in so much pain that I was practically in tears in the massage place. I had been looking forward to that for over a week. Ughh.. So, they apologized over and over again and they gave me a credit to my account so my next massage would be 50% off. That made me feel a tiny bit better and now my massage is tomorrow after work. Whohoo!
And that is about it....
This week is filled with A LOT of Christmas shopping and still trying to finish decorating our house! I still have so much to do...